I have often wondered how important it is to be honest with people and family, or can honesty be limited between whatever deity we believe in and ourselves? The relation however being hypothetically non-functional (a dilusional comfort factor for some) or perhaps the deity here is our concience, (I not possessing any will replace that with God).
I don’t know why but I just can’t seem to bring myself to be companionable at times, the mere effort of talking is like attempting to dig a hole in the earth in search of water, and we all know how deep that is going to be. I can think of two reasons why this state of reticence takes effect, the first being, my love for books, for knowledge – since knowledge does not force itself upon me, but rather sits patiently, until I figure it out, assemble, and re-arrange it in my sphere of comprehension, then after we have established connection, we are friends for life. Now compare and contrast that, dear reader, with an actual living, moving, talking person, who comes along with a bunch of preconcieved notions, a personality & mind programmed from birth into the ways of our society, a society used to condemning differences with a hammer bang – bang – bang and you’re flat out reduced to nothing.
The second reason is my need for invisibility or non-being. Invisibility is good because it helps me determine who has night vision, who has the depth and insight to see things without the aid of external help, can you close your eyes and know where you are? If you were trapped in a small box would you have the ability to sustain yourself and figure a way of outdoing your circumstances? People who can generally see are blind in my opinion. They are seeing things which are already there, and hello? I am not even interested in you having to describe and tell me things which I would know, if you cannot detect the subtle changes in the constantly shifting intellectual paradigm of your exsistence, you are as good as an obsolete being. Go get an upgrade.
Like all living things, our world is a breathing, oftentimes hurt, entity that is thrust with the immense weight of our stupidities combined with the physicality of our bodies. We may often times reduce it to a mere piece of land, rocks, stones, and whatnot, and forage her womb until she is on the verge of an irreversable breakdown. Our destructive activities are not only limited to torturing the earth, but we gleefully engage in doing the same with each other. I can picture so many scenarious where siblings, lovers, couples, parents, etc would attempt at picking each other apart and then be driven miles away in hate.
So the patient earth (perhaps she seems patient because she cannot speak the human vernacular and we are too stubborn to learn hers) waits for just this one random day to strike out in anger and cause havoc on the ones hurting her causing mankind to scream, petrified of the disaster. I sit back and smile, happy that she has taken the initiative for revenge. Somethings need to be balanced, who hasn’t learned of equilibrium in economics?
Going back to honesty, how shall we be honest with each other? Let us begin by not trying to be anything in the first place. Second we aim at attempting communication. Which does not mean I ask you how good was dinner last night or whatever you did after that, neither would it be communication in the form of incessant complains. Communication if objectively defined would include, transfer of information, between two people/entities in order to create dialogue, to exchange, learn and grow by an active inter-play of ideas. Oftentimes I cring at having to communicate with members of my own family, knowing what they will ask, say, or confide, because in my length of vision, they are not attempting to move anywhere. I don’t hate circles, but if you love them so much, I’d suggest you join the circus. Lots of circling and trapezing going on there.
The biggest mistake we as human beings make is attaching ourselves to limited entities, then festering with them, like a puss filled pimple, waiting for it to break, which godforbid I should witness, ever. What we should be doing is, attaching ourselves to the unattachable. For then, you have a wide road ahead of you, of infinite possibility. May the Gods we believe in, grant us such a means, to attain what is not seen by sight, to acquire that which is not acquired by force, so we can deserve to be the rightful inheritors of knowledge and wisdom.