I was just having a conversation with someone about the various complexities surrounding human behavior in the context of relationships (personal, social and/or formal). What preplexes me the most is when I observe people suddenly altered from their actual personalities into some imaginably pretentious individuals to please others. If the basis of social bonding is dependent on self-abnegation, then I would rather forego the experience. If you are willing to lose yourself to attain something on a material level, what  worth would that achievement surmount to without the core (the actual ‘you’) that should be encompassing it’s existence? I told this person that once I had realized I posessed everything (non-material) within reach I did not feel the need to go out of my way to acquire it. You need three things to make it through life;  (a) Love (b) Faith, and (c) Ambition (purpose/desire to engage in a meaningful activity) and once these atributes are self-inherent in your word and deed, you can be counted as a valuable member of the society.

In order to elaborate on the above, I would like to shed some light on the necessity of creating a circle of trust. A circle of trust that will diametrically surround your being and protect your energy from external/unwanted dispersion. This circle is meant for you, and it will protect your inner-resources from depletion and cause further growth in strength. Most of the external attacks be they from people, close relatives, friends (who go bad) or simply anyone who cannot bear to see you grow  and develop transpire when your weak points are located, doors unintentionally left ajar, or windows you forgot existed have been stealthily infiltrated. A good analogy would be a virus infecting the computer because it was vulnerable and unprotected. To reiterate my point, a circle of trust requires your presence in the center, from which point you channel and control your protective gear. This circle will act like a halo and surround you day in and day out, in your personal and professional sphere by allowing you room to be yourself, and yet posess the facility of learning and evolving. Hence, if you have a circle of trust surrounding your presence, you will never find the need to alter your behavior or personality to accomodate anyone, but rather allow YOU to become an agent of postive influence.

The following principles appear elemental to postmodernists:

• There is no absolute truth – Postmodernists believe that the notion of truth is a contrived illusion, misused by people and special interest groups to gain power over others.
• Truth and error are synonymous – Facts, postmodernists claim, are too limiting to determine anything. Changing erratically, what is fact today can be false tomorrow.
• Self-conceptualization and rationalization – Traditional logic and objectivity are spurned by postmodernists. Preferring to rely on opinions rather than embrace facts, postmodernist spurn the scientific method.
• Traditional authority is false and corrupt – Postmodernists speak out against the constraints of religious morals and secular authority. They wage intellectual revolution to voice their concerns about traditional establishment.
• Ownership – They claim that collective ownership would most fairly administrate goods and services.
• Disillusionment with modernism – Postmodernists rue the unfulfilled promises of science, technology, government, and religion.
• Morality is personal – Believing ethics to be relative, postmodernists subject morality to personal opinion. They define morality as each person’s private code of ethics without the need to follow traditional values and rules.
• Globalization – Many postmodernists claim that national boundaries are a hindrance to human communication. Nationalism, they believe, causes wars. Therefore, postmodernists often propose internationalism and uniting separate countries.
• All religions are valid – Valuing inclusive faiths, postmodernists gravitate towards New Age religion. They denounce the exclusive claims of Jesus Christ as being the only way to God.
• Liberal ethics – Postmodernists defend the cause of feminists and homosexuals.
• Pro-environmentalism – Defending “Mother Earth,” postmodernists blame Western society for its destruction.

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mooo!

for the dead, dying and the depressed;
there is always another
spring
ahead.

It is a beautiful day but I am sitting and working in my room when I could be outside enjoying the sun! The older I get the more impatient I grow. School is boring, yes, I am wondering what made me go back to it? Our society of course! It has a beautiful habit of rejecting the rejects who don’t conform. So getting back in school was a way to not conform in a scholastic garb. However my scholastic garb seems to be loosening its hold and slipping off of my shoulders, I must need a new one?! I am not sure. I know I function best when I am able to help people, but this has taken a negative turn and I find it impossible to engage in tasks that are meant solely for myself. I hate how people always babble, ‘Me’ ‘I’ “Moi’? These words and the likes of them I’d press delete on my life’s keyboard if I could, however c’est impossible no matter how generous one’s spirit. Yes, not the soul. Soul is something else. Your spirit can be infectious and fill up a room with subtle laughter and fun, but Soul is the heaviness you drag in that shell of a body (it is like a casket actually) quite heavy but you have to drag its weight through out your mortality.

Overcoming the self. The self that is always overcoming itself. And itself is that menace which haunts our sleep, and lately my dreams, resulting in nightmares. I am not sure why I have been experiencing weird disconnected dreams; early childhood, grade school friends, and such. Amassing knowledge can be quite threatening to your already built system of thought and belief. The more information and knowledge one acquires the greater the inner-rearranging required! Oh, the forever disheveled house, always invaded and taken apart. I would not even associate sand castles to this process of dismantling. So my intent of writing this random (I have taken a fancy to this word lately) post is to get something triggered in my subconscious that I may take a plunge in my homework with a better perspective. We have a had a lot of wise men in our world, most are dead, the ones alive are hiding (as usual) I mean who can deal with being wise and social? They just don’t mix (e.g. water and oil). Well anyway, lately my theme has been a personal reorganization of my identity, I am trying to come to terms with who I am, how I can project that self, (or as one of my professors had put, “putting your best self out there”). It’s not easy because somehow what seems to be isn’t and what never seemed to be, is. Which reaffirms my belief that most philosophers don’t know what they’re doing (including the dead ones) and those alive and kicking in this generation go by the thickets, not beating around the bush, but in front of it, very loud and very incoherent. And we eventually come to call them philosophical people who are defined by their incoherences and general ineptitude to grasp the infinite complexity of the self, the I , and the Me.

I hope nothing that I have said above made sense. I am planning to retire within three years of my graduation into a world that is not technical or mechanical, and is not governed by text books, computers and brains. I plan to retire into my heart and close the doors to the big bad wolves*!

(Wolves aka: ego, self)

i stir my coffee slowly
clockwise and then anti-clockwise.
a newspaper sits on the table like stale crackers
moist from the humid air,

a drop of sweat
hanging precariously
from the tip of my nose
collapses;
suddenly giving up
………..its will

descending below -
to rest upon
an empty page of a diary
dated September 29.

I love this song…

Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won’t be long
Til he opens his eyes, opens his eyes
Where is that simple day
Before colors broke into shades
And how did I ever fade
Into this life, into this life

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I’ve known is lost and found
I promise you I, I’ll come back to you one day

Morning is waking up
And sometimes it’s more than just enough
When all that you need to love
Is in front of your eyes
It’s in front of your eyes

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
Sometimes it’s hard to find the ground
Cause I keep on falling as I try to get away
From this crazy world

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I’ve known is lost and found
I promise you I, I’ll come back to you one day

Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won’t be long
Til he opens his eyes
Opens his eyes..

they try to break the mold.